The Passing of a Loved One: Mourn or Celebrate?

Recently, my grandmother, who has been very ill for the past 10 years, had a massive stroke and entered into a coma. She was on life support and unresponsive. After removing the life support, she stabilized, but she is weak, always sleeping, and will never return home.

All of this came into fruition the week before Easter, which I thought a very interesting time to be contemplating all of this. My grandmother is a believer, so I rest assured in the state of her soul. Praise God that He died and rose from the dead for us! Many people fail to understand the significance of this act, or at least learn to take it for granted. What makes Christianity different from EVERY religion on Earth is that it offers a living hope - a God that is alive and offers life to anyone who wishes. All you have to do is willingly accept this gift! How easy is that?! There are no required rituals, things you can and cannot do. Christ offers the only real hope and offers it freely and unconditionally. How awesome!

Have you heard the saying that we should mourn when someone is born and celebrate when they pass? I think it's difficult to feel this way because we are so conditioned to grieve and mourn at the loss of a loved one. But how better off they are when they leave this Earth! I am happy for my grandmother - who is relaxed and at peace even now as she waits to pass on - and I am glad that she will soon be with God and free of the physical limitations her depleted and sick body leave her in here on Earth.

Motivational Song: It's Your Life

Young pop star Francesca Battistelli tells it like it is with "It's Your Life" from her album My Paper Heart.

Click to listen to song on YouTube

Motivational Quote

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.

Joan Lunden, in Healthy Living Magazine

Quote from QuotationsPage.com

Create Balance with a Time Budget

One of the biggest enemies to a balanced life is lack of time, or more accurately, lack of proper time management. We cannot create more time; therefore, we must learn to manage it more efficiently. Much in the same way you might budget your finances, you can budget your time. Want to know if you can volunteer ten hours each week for a homeless kitchen? Wondering if you can take an extra college class this semester? Can you train for that figure competition in the summer? The only way to know is by budgeting your time.

Start by writing down your weekly and daily tasks, in order of importance and from those that take the most of your time to the least. Include a deadline, if applicable. An example might look like this:

Studying - 3 college courses (January 1 – February 28)
Exercising - Training for 10k (April 1)
Work - Home-Based Business
Chores and Errands
Family Time
Church
Sleep (this one’s important – don’t skimp here!)

Next, write out the times you plan to wake up and go to bed. If you work part-time or full-time, block that time out of your schedule. Next, plan the times when you will work on your various tasks, and block out time to spend with family and friends. This is known as “white space” and is very important! We all need it, so don’t omit it. Then, begin allocating time each day for your obligations, again based on the order of most to least time consuming and highest to lowest priorities. Here’s what the above example would look like:

Wake Up: 6:30am
8:30am – Check business email
9:00am - 2 hours college coursework
11:30am – 45-minute run or go to gym
1:00pm – Grocery shopping, cleaners, store errands
3:00pm – 1 hour college coursework
4:00pm – Check business email/work on programs
6:00pm – Cook dinner
7:00pm – Family Time
10:00pm – Bed (read and asleep by 10:45pm)

Write out a schedule like this for every day of the week, or for every day that is different from day one, such as weekends. Monitor your schedule for several weeks and adjust the day as necessary to reflect your accurate schedule.

You’ll also notice from the above example that every second of the day isn’t taken up. This is important to avoid, because not only is it unrealistic and stressful, but it doesn’t allow for any time to be formable in case an emergency or unforeseen situation occurs. Use your white space to pray, meditate, surf the web, watch a little TV, or just relax.

If you have a task to schedule but you’re not sure how much time it will take yet, just do what you would when starting a financial budget: track the time spent for 1-2 weeks, then allocate it accordingly into your schedule.

Tips for sticking to your Time Budget

1. Don’t over-schedule. Include “white space” so you can relax, de-stress and have extra time to be formable.
2. Allocate realistic timeframes in which to complete your obligations/goals.
3. Aim for 6-8 hours of sleep every night. You can’t be productive on little or no sleep.
4. It’s OK to say “no” to people – remember your priorities and stick to them.
5. Make your Time Budget a “living” document. Change it monthly or weekly as needed to fit your lifestyle.
6. Don’t try to be great at and do everything at once. You’ll just end up being mediocre at everything and great at nothing.

Be "Formable"

When I was contemplating how best to stay sane while juggling a busy schedule and still having time for family, hobbies and fun stuff, I came up with the term "formable." The next time your life becomes crazy, be formable!

What does it mean? It's actually an engineering term, but by omitting a few of the words I can make this word mean what I want it to. Check out my definition, below:

Formable (adj.), "able... to adapt to changes... without flaking or cracking."

My personal definition is a combination of the words "formal" and "flexible". Set a formal schedule for yourself, but be flexible. Life comes up with spontaneous happenings that sometimes decide your schedule for you. Baby cries during a workout, and you have to quit early. Car breaks down the week of a job interview, and you have to cancel.

The fact is, there is very little we are in control of, with one exception. We are in control of how we react to a situation. That's where formability comes in. Some people also use the analogy of a willow tree and an oak tree. The willow bends in the storm, but the oak breaks, so try to be the willow!

Adapting this concept to your life takes some practice. Four years ago, I was at Reagan National ready to fly out to Seattle to train with my fitness coach for my new routine. I'd paid about $1,000 for the flight out there, plus canceled work for the day. Well, massive storms hit the Ft. Worth area, where my connection was. All flights were canceled. Before I knew I couldn't reschedule my flight, I was at the airport trying to work it out. People were acting like animals, yelling and fighting, selfishly trying to gain ahead of others like three-year-old children. It was an eye-opener to me. I prayed and tried to stay calm, realizing that I couldn't control the flight schedule and had to just deal with it as best as I could. I talked to several airport staff to find out what was going on, then headed home for the day and called my coach to let her know the news. She was upset because she'd canceled her clients for the day, plus we had to reschedule in the next few weeks and rearrange our work plans, so we both lost money and time. Despite this, I was okay with it and it all worked out. This was the first major instance in my life where I didn't react with my initial emotional instincts. It served me much better to remain calm and try to work out the problem. Those other people that were acting like children were stressed, angry and red-faced, and it didn't get them any further than my actions got me!

So, the next time life throws a surprise your way, remember to be formable.