The Passing of a Loved One: Mourn or Celebrate?

Recently, my grandmother, who has been very ill for the past 10 years, had a massive stroke and entered into a coma. She was on life support and unresponsive. After removing the life support, she stabilized, but she is weak, always sleeping, and will never return home.

All of this came into fruition the week before Easter, which I thought a very interesting time to be contemplating all of this. My grandmother is a believer, so I rest assured in the state of her soul. Praise God that He died and rose from the dead for us! Many people fail to understand the significance of this act, or at least learn to take it for granted. What makes Christianity different from EVERY religion on Earth is that it offers a living hope - a God that is alive and offers life to anyone who wishes. All you have to do is willingly accept this gift! How easy is that?! There are no required rituals, things you can and cannot do. Christ offers the only real hope and offers it freely and unconditionally. How awesome!

Have you heard the saying that we should mourn when someone is born and celebrate when they pass? I think it's difficult to feel this way because we are so conditioned to grieve and mourn at the loss of a loved one. But how better off they are when they leave this Earth! I am happy for my grandmother - who is relaxed and at peace even now as she waits to pass on - and I am glad that she will soon be with God and free of the physical limitations her depleted and sick body leave her in here on Earth.

Motivational Song: It's Your Life

Young pop star Francesca Battistelli tells it like it is with "It's Your Life" from her album My Paper Heart.

Click to listen to song on YouTube

Motivational Quote

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.

Joan Lunden, in Healthy Living Magazine

Quote from QuotationsPage.com

Jogging with Baby!

Today I had my first experience with the jogging stroller. I was all fired up and ready to go! I pulled the dusty stroller out of the garage and gave it a good wipe-down, got myself hydrated and fueled for optimum performance, and was ready to head out and enjoy the sunny, near 70 degree weather. I strapped my little one into the seat after slathering him with SPF 50 sunscreen and dressing him in his own workout wear, including Calvin Klein velour hoody to protect his little head from the sun. I stashed my cell phone and keys in said stroller, strapped on my watch, tied up my running shoes, and headed out.

Then, reality hit. This was hard! I consider myself to be in pretty good shape. I typically jog 4-7 miles three times a week. Well, try running with a 35 lb. rucksack and a straightjacket on – that’s what jogging with a baby in tow feels like! Being the determined fitness buff that I am, I would not be deterred. I settled myself into a nice rhythm, albeit a lot slower than my normal pace sans baby, and found myself back in my driveway 40 minutes and a comfortable 3 miles later.

One thing that really did surprise me, other than how challenging this would be, was how much my baby would love it! If your baby likes riding in the car, being pushed in a regular stroller, or being worn in a carrier, he will probably love this, too. My little one sat and took in all the beautiful scenery, all of which was so new to him since this is the first sign of nice weather since he was born. There was a gentle breeze blowing, and that, combined with the rhythm of the stroller tires and the gentle rocking motion as I strolled along, relaxed my little guy and lulled him into a state of half sleep and coma! He stayed in this sleepy awake state for the duration of my jog. Upon returning to the house and giving him a quick feeding, he was down for the count – plus number three!

If you want to jog with your baby, here are a few safety tips to consider before you begin:

1. Protect your baby. This goes without saying. Dress baby appropriately based on the weather. Skin exposure to direct sunlight should be minimized. Make sure your baby is wearing a hat to protect his little head, and sunscreen made for babies and children on all exposed body parts.

2. Inspect your gear. Become very familiar with your stroller before using it. Use according to manufacturer’s suggestions. Make sure straps are tightened and secured properly. Try going for a trial and walking around the neighborhood first, to get the feel of your jogger and to get comfortable using it.

3. Plan your route. Know the distance and the neighborhood you wish to take beforehand. Try http://www.mapmyrun.com Choose a safe location and a well-lit time of day. Choose your route according to ease and convenience; for instance, are the sidewalks well kept and free and clear of obstructions? Is there a convenient jogging path close by? These will make your workout safer and more enjoyable.

4. Protect yourself. Take all the same precautions you normally would when going for a jog outdoors. These include appropriate clothing and gear for the weather, sun protection (including sunscreen, sunglasses and hat or cap), fuel and hydration.

Do not listen to an iPod while jogging! You need to have your full senses about you and be aware of everything.

Wear a watch to time your length away from home, and consider telling a close friend or family member when you’ll be gone and the route you plan to take, in case of an emergency. Bring your keys and cell phone, and even your ID card or Driver’s license, and secure them appropriately in your stroller.

5. Don’t over-exert yourself. Be smart. Exercising with your baby means you have to consider your own safety and health as it affects not only you, but your little one as well. Don’t try to be a superhero and do too much too soon. Build up your endurance slowly and consistently.

6. Don’t get discouraged. If baby becomes fussy, you get tired, or weather doesn’t cooperate, cut your workout short and try again later. The biggest obstacle to getting in shape is consistency. Be consistent, yet flexible, and you will eventually reach your goals!

Create Balance with a Time Budget

One of the biggest enemies to a balanced life is lack of time, or more accurately, lack of proper time management. We cannot create more time; therefore, we must learn to manage it more efficiently. Much in the same way you might budget your finances, you can budget your time. Want to know if you can volunteer ten hours each week for a homeless kitchen? Wondering if you can take an extra college class this semester? Can you train for that figure competition in the summer? The only way to know is by budgeting your time.

Start by writing down your weekly and daily tasks, in order of importance and from those that take the most of your time to the least. Include a deadline, if applicable. An example might look like this:

Studying - 3 college courses (January 1 – February 28)
Exercising - Training for 10k (April 1)
Work - Home-Based Business
Chores and Errands
Family Time
Church
Sleep (this one’s important – don’t skimp here!)

Next, write out the times you plan to wake up and go to bed. If you work part-time or full-time, block that time out of your schedule. Next, plan the times when you will work on your various tasks, and block out time to spend with family and friends. This is known as “white space” and is very important! We all need it, so don’t omit it. Then, begin allocating time each day for your obligations, again based on the order of most to least time consuming and highest to lowest priorities. Here’s what the above example would look like:

Wake Up: 6:30am
8:30am – Check business email
9:00am - 2 hours college coursework
11:30am – 45-minute run or go to gym
1:00pm – Grocery shopping, cleaners, store errands
3:00pm – 1 hour college coursework
4:00pm – Check business email/work on programs
6:00pm – Cook dinner
7:00pm – Family Time
10:00pm – Bed (read and asleep by 10:45pm)

Write out a schedule like this for every day of the week, or for every day that is different from day one, such as weekends. Monitor your schedule for several weeks and adjust the day as necessary to reflect your accurate schedule.

You’ll also notice from the above example that every second of the day isn’t taken up. This is important to avoid, because not only is it unrealistic and stressful, but it doesn’t allow for any time to be formable in case an emergency or unforeseen situation occurs. Use your white space to pray, meditate, surf the web, watch a little TV, or just relax.

If you have a task to schedule but you’re not sure how much time it will take yet, just do what you would when starting a financial budget: track the time spent for 1-2 weeks, then allocate it accordingly into your schedule.

Tips for sticking to your Time Budget

1. Don’t over-schedule. Include “white space” so you can relax, de-stress and have extra time to be formable.
2. Allocate realistic timeframes in which to complete your obligations/goals.
3. Aim for 6-8 hours of sleep every night. You can’t be productive on little or no sleep.
4. It’s OK to say “no” to people – remember your priorities and stick to them.
5. Make your Time Budget a “living” document. Change it monthly or weekly as needed to fit your lifestyle.
6. Don’t try to be great at and do everything at once. You’ll just end up being mediocre at everything and great at nothing.

That Downer Known as Debt

Finance is not my area of expertise. In fact, I struggle a bit being disciplined in this area. But I have improved from my frivolous ways of youth and instant gratification mindset. I’ve come to learn that lack of financial control will cause a life of stress, fighting and unrest. Bad for a marriage, family, and an individual.

My husband and I recently paid off a 3-year home equity loan. The day we wrote that final check, we felt such a rush of relief! It may sound corny, but it’s true. Now, we’ve set a goal of paying off all of our debt and living a life of peace and freedom! With controlled spending and a somewhat aggressive approach, we will shorten our final loan from 3 years down to 1 year. The amazing thing is, this will free up ¼ of our monthly take-home pay! Now maybe you can see how significant this is. Our second course of action involves saving and spending – that’s right, we plan on staying debt-free for the rest of our lives. This is the only way not to be tied to “the man” and to enjoy true financial freedom, worry-free. Oh yeah, the other great thing about this lifestyle – a suffering economy has no impact on your life. It’s an amazing thought. So, we are fired up about the changes.



I highly suggest reading Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. This is where I got my initial inspiration, and upon realizing we were already halfway towards these behavioral changes Dave recommends, I realized the freedom he describes is very attainable and close within reach. If you think your situation is far worse than mine, it very well may be. His book is laced with success stories of singles, couples and families who worked their way out of tens of thousands of dollars in debt and found their freedom. A great read… an even greater life application. Check it out!

Be "Formable"

When I was contemplating how best to stay sane while juggling a busy schedule and still having time for family, hobbies and fun stuff, I came up with the term "formable." The next time your life becomes crazy, be formable!

What does it mean? It's actually an engineering term, but by omitting a few of the words I can make this word mean what I want it to. Check out my definition, below:

Formable (adj.), "able... to adapt to changes... without flaking or cracking."

My personal definition is a combination of the words "formal" and "flexible". Set a formal schedule for yourself, but be flexible. Life comes up with spontaneous happenings that sometimes decide your schedule for you. Baby cries during a workout, and you have to quit early. Car breaks down the week of a job interview, and you have to cancel.

The fact is, there is very little we are in control of, with one exception. We are in control of how we react to a situation. That's where formability comes in. Some people also use the analogy of a willow tree and an oak tree. The willow bends in the storm, but the oak breaks, so try to be the willow!

Adapting this concept to your life takes some practice. Four years ago, I was at Reagan National ready to fly out to Seattle to train with my fitness coach for my new routine. I'd paid about $1,000 for the flight out there, plus canceled work for the day. Well, massive storms hit the Ft. Worth area, where my connection was. All flights were canceled. Before I knew I couldn't reschedule my flight, I was at the airport trying to work it out. People were acting like animals, yelling and fighting, selfishly trying to gain ahead of others like three-year-old children. It was an eye-opener to me. I prayed and tried to stay calm, realizing that I couldn't control the flight schedule and had to just deal with it as best as I could. I talked to several airport staff to find out what was going on, then headed home for the day and called my coach to let her know the news. She was upset because she'd canceled her clients for the day, plus we had to reschedule in the next few weeks and rearrange our work plans, so we both lost money and time. Despite this, I was okay with it and it all worked out. This was the first major instance in my life where I didn't react with my initial emotional instincts. It served me much better to remain calm and try to work out the problem. Those other people that were acting like children were stressed, angry and red-faced, and it didn't get them any further than my actions got me!

So, the next time life throws a surprise your way, remember to be formable.

About This Blog

Throughout my 30 years on this earth (well, mainly the last three or four years), I’ve put an increasing emphasis on attaining balance in my life. Sounds so great, doesn’t it? Attaining balance. I’ve heard tons of friends and colleagues utter this little phrase as they gaze into the horizon, dreaming of some day when they’ll have that perfect life where everything falls into place: time is infinite, money is plentiful, and family life is perfect. Well, I have to admit that I’ve fallen for the glitz and glamour that appealing little phrase elicits, too. In fact, I’m in hook, line and sinker. I’ve come to realize that there are a few really important things in this life, and that I can easily lose sight of that without a constant reminder to reel myself in when I get too many hair-brained ideas for the next good business idea, project or hobby I want to pursue.

Faith. Family. Fitness. Those are basically my three priorities in life. I have a special definition for my priorities. They aren’t merely things which come first; rather, they are those areas that infiltrate and permeate every other facet of my life, like an invisible blanket laid over everything. With these three little “f’s” I can cover the three aspects of being a human: spirit, soul (mental), and body. Faith defines my worldview, broad life purpose and personal values and beliefs. Family identifies my desire to be what my most loved ones need from me, while allowing them to give me what I need and want as well. And fitness involves taking care of the only body I have to house my spirit and soul while on this planet.

“Beaming with Balance” is my attempt at analyzing and coming up with ways to learn and grow, de-stress, laugh, maximize my happiness, and just live life the way I want to. Welcome to my journey. I’m glad to have you along!